Tears of Joy
by Tarika Nachtwind
Summary: A turbo lift story, but not with the usual suspects. A bit sad, though happy ending. JC of course!


_Disclaimer: Don't own anything, except the story and Jonna_

_AN: I might write more about Jonna and her family, but I need feedback. So please, please read and review. _

Captain Janeway looked at the screen, just so her eyes came to rest somewhere. Now, a few minutes after the encounter with yet another hostile race and with the adrenaline leaving her system, she felt empty and hollow. She also was restless, her thoughts always returning to her husband, her girl, her crew. She had failed to keep them save. She had succeeded in scaring the aliens off this time, but the attack left her and her crew exhausted. One day, they might loose.

"Oh, stop thinking about it. Stop it. Stop.", she kept muttering to herself and closed her eyes. She noticed angrily that tears threatened to spill. "No! No, you are not going to cry!", she thought. "You promised to get this crew home and as long as you live you will not give up!" "But what about Chakotay and Jonna?", a voice kept asking her in her mind. Didn't she already fail, wasn't she about to give up? "No!", she moaned, "No."

"Captain? Captain!", Ensign Kim's voice roused her from her musings.

"What is it, Harry?", her voice sounded tired. "Is that really me?", she wondered.

"Er, you have a visitor, Captain?" He didn't meet her eyes when she turned to him.

Her eyes traveled farther to the right and locked onto the figure of a small 6-year old. Her captain's mask was back in place and with it a smile, that wouldn't reach her eyes. She slowly got up and walked towards the little girl.

"What are you doing here, JJ?", she asked, this time her voice, though it still sounded hoarse, was gentle and loving.

"You, you said we would have dinner together. I waited with uncle Neelix, but you never came. Dad...", her mouth quivered, "daddy always said, that I have to make sure, that you eat enough, when he isn't around to tell you to."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. There was so much to do, we had some trouble with aliens." She stroked the beautiful black hair of heir daughter.

"I know, mama.", was the whispered reply as Jonna made one step backwards out of the reach of her mother.

"We could go now, and see what uncle Neelix has cooked for us."

"No, mama, I'm tired, let's go home."

"Of, course." Kathryn straightened. "Tuvok?"

Tuvok nodded and walked down to sit in her chair.

When the doors of the turbo lift closed behind the two, the bridge crew shared knowing looks and sad smiles. They had been so happy for them, that day their commanding officers had announced their engagement. Their wedding had been exceptional, although it ended rather abruptly with yet another attack. The ship and especially the bridge had been full of laughter, ever since Jonna was born. Motherhood had been very kind on their captain. She seemed younger and so open to everybody.

It all stopped nearly three months ago. The day one away team was attacked. They had made it back, but not without injuries. After some time, everyone recovered, everyone, except the commander. He had been in a coma ever since. Now, three months later, there was hardly any hope left.

Inside the turbo lift there was silence. Jonna had retreated to one corner and never lifted her eyes. She was clearly not in the mood to be hugged by her mother. So, Kathryn Janeway left her alone, looking her over.

She was beautiful, looked a lot like her father, with her tanned skin and shiny almost bluish black hair. She was rather small for her age, but very bright. Her features were gentle. Long black lashes framed sapphire-blue eyes, which usually sparkled with intelligence and laughter. She had a very joyous nature. Her nose was tiny, but her mouth full and sensitive. She had inherited her mother's stubborn chin. Kathryn noticed with concern that her usual rosy cheeks were dull.

Suddenly, the lift jolted to a halt, sparks went flying from the above and the lights went off. Jonna shrieked and Kathryn rushed to her side, but her daughter shrank away from her when she felt her near her. Kathryn had no time to wonder about this behavior as she tried to hail the bridge.

"Janeway to the bridge! Tuvok?" Nothing. "Janeway to engineering, B'Elanna, can you hear me?" Again they were greeted with silence.

The little girl started to sob. "Jonna, shh it's okay. I am here." Kathryn stretched out her arm, but again Jonna flinched under her touch. "JJ, what is wrong?"

"You, hhh, you don't love me", she sobbed, "you hate daddy and you also hate me!"

Captain Janeway was shocked. "Honey, you know that I love you and daddy very much!"

"Nn...no, I hear the people in the mess hall, what they talk about you and daddy. They think, I don't understand them, but I do. They say, you don't visit daddy anymore, you don't care what happens to him. They say, you hate him, because he destroyed the shuttle. And you hate me, because I look so much like him."

"Oh, JJ..."

"It's true, isn't it? You never visit daddy with me. Almost everybody else does, even Seven, although she thinks it is irrelevant to speak to a comatose person. You hardly have time anymore. You promise to have dinner with me or to play with me, but you never do. You are always tired or on the bridge..."

This time Kathryn hugged her daughter despite her struggling and soon Jonna collapsed into the arms of her mother. Kathryn carefully slit down the wall until she sat on the floor cradling her daughter in her lap. The both cried, the little girl shaking with violent sobs, the older woman silently with her lips on Jonna's head.

When her daughter quieted down again, Kathryn whispered in her ear: "Jonna, know that I always love you and daddy. Never doubt that!" Tears still wet her cheeks.

Jonna touched her mother's face. "Mama, why are you crying?", she asked in astonishment. She had never seen her mother cry.

"I am scared, JJ, I am so scared that I might never speak to daddy again. I am scared, that I am not a good mother for you.

"No, mama, you are the best mama ever!", the little girl said earnestly.

Kathryn smiled a little. "So, what do you want to be, when you are grown?"

"I want to be a captain, with my own starship!", Jonna exclaimed excitedly, already starting to forget that she had been crying just a few minutes ago. "And I am going to fight the Borg!"

Captain Janeway now laughed at the eagerness of her daughter, yes, _her_ daughter. "But being a captain also brings many responsibilities. You have to look out for your crew as well."

"I know, mama, just like you do."

"You were right, you know. Lately, I didn't visit daddy as often anymore."

"But why not? The doctor says, that he might wake up, when he knows that we need him."

"I know. Sometimes, I visit him, when you are asleep. But it gets harder and harder for me to return to our quarters or to the bridge after I visit him. I want to stay with him, and never leave him again. I feel like I can't breath anymore, when I have to leave. But I have to. I have to come back for you, I have to be there, when you have a nightmare, and tell you a story, when you can't sleep. I also have to be there for the crew. I am the captain. When aliens contact us, be they friendly or hostile, I have to be on the bridge."

"So being captain isn't always fun?"

"No. But I also can't give up being captain. Firstly, I wouldn't be a very good captain if I did that. And secondly, can you imagine Tuvok being captain?"

Jonna giggled. "Nobody, would have any fun anymore. They like to tease him, but you can't tease captains, can you?"

Kathryn laughed again. "You better not!"

"So you really love daddy and me? You don't hate us?"

"Yes, I really love you both. And tell you what? As soon as they get us out of here, we visit daddy together and tell him that, okay?"

"Oh, yes! And we tell him, he can have cake and brownies and chocolate, when he wakes up."

Captain Janeway chuckled. "We will do just that."

All of the sudden, there was a creaking noise and the lift sagged a few centimeters. Jonna cried out and hugged her mother fiercely. "I am scared, mama!"

"Shh, honey, don't be."

"But the lift is going to fall. Will we die, mama?"

"JJ, the crew will do their best to get us out of here, before it falls. And if it does, I will try to keep you save."

"I don't want you to die, mama!"

"And I don't want to leave you, little one. But if anything happens, you should know that daddy and I always love you, and that nothing that happens to us is you fault, do you understand?"

"Yes, mama", Jonna whispered.

"That's my little girl! Now, if the lift is going down, I want you to make yourself as small as possible on my lap. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

Again, they sagged several centimeters.

"Mama, can you tell me a story?"

"Sure, honey, which one?"

"The one, about you and daddy and me."

"I have told you so often already, but oh well. Once there was a captain, who was sent out to capture a dangerous terrorist."

"Was he really that bad?"

"No, but the captain didn't know that at that time. Although she was sent in a very dangerous area, she wasn't worried, as she was captain of the fastest ship ever built."

"Voyager, right mama?"

"Yes, Voyager was a wonderful new ship, which would carry her anywhere. And it did when the caretaker sent us in the delta quadrant. There she met the former marquis she was sent to capture, she didn't know yet, that he would capture her heart later. He risked his life in order to distract the Kazon, the first hostile alien race they met in the delta quadrant, and lost his ship because of it. The captain asked him, whether his people would join her crew and he be her first officer. He wasn't happy about it, but did what she asked of him. Later he did tell her, that he will share her burden and always be there for her, he told her, when they were both stranded on a planet alone."

"I know, I know, the story about the angry warrior. Daddy told me about it."

"It was a long time, until the captain realized she really loved and needed him. But he had waited for her all the time and asked her to marry him, when she finally told him, that she loved him. There joy was complete, when they held a beautiful baby girl in their arms."

"Me."

"Yes, you my love!"

Suddenly, there was a lout snap and the lift rushed downward. Jonna cried, but did what her mother had told her and curled herself up like a ball. Kathryn wrapped herself around her daughter...

...

Bright white light and loud noises woke her up. Her whole body was in agony. She heard someone crying. Jonna! "Jonna! Jonna!"

"Captain, everything is alright. We have her, she is okay. You are save." The doctor worriedly bent over her.

"Chakotay, where is Chakotay?" She grabbed the doctors arm. "Please get Chakotay, please!", she cried. "I need him!" Kathryn heard a hiss of a hypospray and then darkness enclosed her.

"Chakotay, Chakotay, I need him!", the words kept echoing in his mind. First they didn't make any sense to him, but after a while he started to understand. Kathryn, his Kathryn needed him. He opened his eyes. He was in sickbay. "Kathryn!", he gasped and tried to get up.

"Commander? You are awake?" The doctor asked with some disbelief in his voice.

"Yes, yes, Kathryn, I need to get to Kathryn, she needs me!"

"Please calm down, Commander! Right now she needs me more than you. Please, stay here and don't move, otherwise I have to sedate you."

Tom and B'Elanna came running into sickbay, Tom to assist the doctor during the surgery, B'Elanna to see for herself, that Chakotay was truly awake and to comfort him. "Chakotay, you are back, old man!"

"Oh, B'E, what happened?"

"You remember the attack on your shuttle?"

He nodded slowly.

"Well, you were very seriously injured, you were in a coma the last three months!", she started to cry.

"Hey, B'E, I am here now, okay?"

"That is a true miracle!" She sniffed. "But, now the captain..."

"Kathryn? What happened to her?"

"She and Jonna were in the turbo lift, when it crashed."

"It crashed? And Jonna? What happened to Jonna?"

"She has a slight shock and concussion, and a broken wrist, nothing to worry about. The doctor has sedated her, she is sleeping right now."

"Good, can I see her?"

"No, the doctor said, you shouldn't move, yet. Really, she is okay."

"And Kathryn?"

"She lives, for now, the doctor and Tom are working on her. I...I hope she will be alright. It had be really hard on her, you being her not responding all the time. She needs to see you awake again", her voice broke, tears streamed down her face.

They hugged it each other and B'Elanna remained at his bed for several hours, chatting about this and that, carefully avoiding Kathryn.

They looked up, when the doctor approached them, his face solemn. "For now, she is stable. If she lives through the night, I believe she will make a full recovery. You both should go to bed. I know you are worried, but believe me I do everything I can to save her. Lieutenant, you should go. Commander, do you need something to help you sleep?"

"Listen to the doctor! As if three months of sleeping aren't enough.", Chakotay joked but sobered quickly. "Yes, please. I don't think I can sleep with the knowledge of her lying there, fighting for her life and I can do nothing to help her."

He didn't know what woke him, but as soon as he became aware of his surroundings again his thoughts were with his wife. He jumped of the biobed and rushed to Kathryn's side. With joy he saw, that her eyes where open. First she seemed confused but then she recognized him.

"Chakotay? Is that you?", she whispered.

"Yes, it is truly me, my love", he answered gently.

"I am still dreaming, it can't be you."

He placed a shy kiss on her forehead. "Does this feel like a dream to you?"

"Almost. You are really alive! ... What happened to Jonna?"

"Don't worry, she is alright, she is sleeping right now."

"Captain, it is so good to have you back!", the doctor materialized out of thin air. Chakotay could have sworn, that his eyes appeared moist.

"I am sorry, but Captain, you need to sleep, you are still very weak. You, too, Commander."

"Aye, aye, sir!", Chakotay said in mock salute, then he bent down to whisper in his wife's ear: "I love you!"

"Love you, too." She smiled and closed her eyes.

Next time she woke to familiar voices. When she opened her eyes she saw Chakotay on the chair next to her bed with Jonna in his lap. He was tickling her, Jonna giggled. Jonna looked at her mother and jumped up. "Mama, you are awake!" A number of wet kisses were placed on her face. Laughing, Captain Janeway brushed her off.

"Look, mama, daddy is here, too. He said, that he woke, because you called him. See, I was right. I knew he would wake, when he knew you would need him! Now, we are a family again, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are a family again!" Kathryn and Jonna were embraced in Chakotay's arms. The parents cried, but this time they were tears of joy.


End file.
